Death in the Doritos Family

Yesterday was a sad day for chip lovers everywhere. Arch West, Executive and Inventor of the GREATEST CHIP KNOWN TO MAN died at the ripe old age of 97.

Family and friends will celebrate West by tossing Doritos into his grave during his memorial service on Saturday. No other brand of chip has ever brought such zest, spice and orange-coated fingers to an audience before. A true innovator of taste, West has taught us a few lessons today:

  1. Truly iconic brands have a lifespan longer than most humans.
  2. Doritos are not only delicious, but also biodegradable.
  3. Eat Doritos = Live Longer. *

Lets hope in their bid to write the winning “Crash the Super Bowl” Doritos commercial, The Lonely Island guys can help chip lovers across the Nation overcome the loss of this great man and harness the true power of the Doritos brand as in the past.

*No medical studies or professionals can endorse this fact as truth.

One thought on “Death in the Doritos Family

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>